Glory Baby

About four weeks ago I took a pregnancy test pretty confident that it would be positive.  It was.   The due date was the end of October.  We were pretty joyous.  A third child.   Wow!  

We've never been ones to hold back on sharing  but for some reason we thought we would wait until I was about eight weeks along.  You see, we've lost a baby before.  I miscarried between Sofia and Selah at 10 weeks.   But I've always remembered something my dear friend Roxanna said to me.  "Let people rejoice with you and if something happens, let them grieve with you."

I am very thankful that a couple of weeks ago we shared with family.  Then this past Wednesday we shared with our church family via the Weekly Prayer List.  This list post at the top the names of expectant mothers in our church by month.  Thursday morning we were going to share with our friends and family by e-mail, facebook, and blog.

Thursday morning, however, brought a different kind of news.  I woke up that morning to some spotting.  I knew.  You see, on Monday I hadn't been feeling well at all.  I was very nauseous.  I couldn't get out of bed at all.   Thankfully my sister Ashley is with us and took care of the girls.  I remember thinking, oh boy, I hope the rest of the pregnancy isn't like this.  But come Tuesday, I was fine.  Now, on Thursday, I knew my body had begun something on Monday.

So the process began.  I went to the doctor's for them to draw blood.  Friday morning the doc calls to say my hormone levels are very high.  I went in that afternoon for an ultrasound.  They couldn't find a heartbeat.  

My heart stopped for a beat as well.

But my heart and Kevin's heart keeps beating.   We are so thankful to be loved by God.  We are so thankful for a community of family and friends that celebrated with us, prayed for us, and who now grieve with us.

His plans and His ways are so perfect.  I told Kevin that the doc kept saying, "Remember, this is not your fault" and the whole time I was thinking, "I know it isn't my fault".

My dear friend, Keri W., reminded me of this beautiful song, "Glory Baby" by Watermark.  Here are some of the words.

Glory Baby, you slipped away

As fast as we could say baby, baby

You were growing, what happened dear,

You disappeared on us baby, baby

Heaven will hold you before we do

Heaven will keep you safe

Until we're home with you 

Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it

Cause we are hurting, we are hurting

But there is healing, and we know we're stronger people 

Through the growing, and in knowing

All things work together for our good

And God works his purposes

Just like he said he would, just like he said he would

We have two glory babies.  Probably the boys of the family.:)

Love to all.