Rookie Driver

I really appreciated Sparky Anderson, the former manager of my favorite major league team, the Detroit Tigers.  Sparky skippered the Tigers to a championship in 1984.  Sparky always had a positive word about his players, regardless of poor performances that they had at times. 

Today, Sparky is going to attempt to describe my outing today in Africa.  No, I wasn’t playing baseball, I was simply driving my girls to separate birthday parties on the other side of town.

Journalist A: Sparky, it looked like the rookie had a rough day out there on the road.

Sparky: Hey, you know what? Kevin absolutely loves Africa!  He will be back tomorrow and he’ll give it everything he has and he’ll succeed.

Journalist B: Uh huh, Kevin seemed to be having a hard time understanding the driving directions he was given.  Selah’s birthday party was near the Japanese embassy on Bole Road.  He wasn’t even close to the embassy, driving by the exit several times. 

Sparky: Sometimes those directions can be difficult to understand.  Kevin will be a better driver tomorrow, you’ll see.

Journalist C: But, Sparky, Kevin drove back and forth the same street roughly 15 times today.  He looked to have no clue, whatsoever.  In these cases, isn’t it best to pull off the road and call someone?

Sparky: Hey, you know Africa, the telephones here are mostly for show.  Getting a hold of someone is rare.  It is more likely to snow in Africa.

Jounalist  A: It snowed in Cairo this week.

Sparky: [Silence]

Journalist B: There has been a lot of feedback from folks in the area depicting Kevin as being very expressive at times while driving up and down Bole Road.  Can you tell us what that was all about?

Sparky: Ha ha!  Kevin is a very confident driver and he just lets it all out sometimes.

Journalist C: Well, some observers tell us that they saw Kevin shaking the directions he was given then going into what appeared to be a verbal tirade?

Sparky: Sometimes directions need a big picture, you know?  Like, here is Africa.  This way is the Indian Ocean.  That way is the Atlantic Ocean.  And this way is the birthday party.  If you just have a few lines drawn here and there saying Japanese embassy it gets confusing.   As for being expressive, look, Kevin believes in prayer he was probably crying out to God for help.

Journailst A: Do his kids usually blush, as they did today, after he cries out to God?

Sparky: Aren’t those kids just the best!? 

Journalist B: Sparky, after dropping off Selah to her party, it took Kevin another 30 minutes to find the party that Sofia was to attend.  It should have just taken 5 minutes at the most.  What reason did the rookie have for taking so long?

Sparky:  A simple rookie mistake!  Look, Kevin is a great driver, he has had some good days out there on the road.  He hasn’t run anyone over yet…er, I mean…c’mon he’s good… 

Journalist C: Okay, but didn’t Kevin almost fail the Marine Corps Humvee driving test because he ran through a red light?

Sparky: Uh….

Journalist A: That story has been verified. 

Sparky: Guys, that was a long time ago, Kevin is a much more experienced driver now and he will nail it next time.  You just wait…

Journalist B: But, Sparky, in addition to being looking completely lost today, Kevin got a parking ticket for parking in front of a major shopping area on a major street!  That is a big no-no around here. 

Journalist C: Yes, and the police confiscated the front license plate, his driver’s license and he has to pay a fine in one location, then, after he pays the fine, he will have to go to another location to retrieve his license plate and driver’s license.

Sparky: Yeah, isn’t it just plain ridiculous what they make a person do for a simple mistake!?  They should just have a guy pay the fine then and there and be done with it….

Journalist C: But, Sparky, Kevin’s driving is hor…..

Sparky: Hey, guys, I gotta go.  I will see you tomorrow. 

Journalist A: Is the rookie driving you home?

Sparky: Huh, are you kidding?!  Not a chance!    

Please pray for this rookie driver, and his dear family, and for all of the pedestrians and other drivers in this major city.  God have mercy on us all.